Kawały !!!
Moderatorzy: Sawicz, Xlem, Drzemi
nie? 
no co za... właściwie to u mnie dziś też się nie pojawia, ale wczoraj było...
no nic, to zajrzyjcie po prostu tutaj:
- i tu chciałam podac link ale nawet on nie chce działać...
więc najlepiej zrobicie jak wpiszecie u siebie w pasku ten adres http://www.geocities.com/mach2mach1/lotnisko.jpg
(jak klikniecie to, to wam wyjdzie że nie ma takiej strony, nie wiem dlaczego):
i teraz juz powinno sie zdjęcie pokazać (mam nadzieję)
no co za... właściwie to u mnie dziś też się nie pojawia, ale wczoraj było...
no nic, to zajrzyjcie po prostu tutaj:
- i tu chciałam podac link ale nawet on nie chce działać...
więc najlepiej zrobicie jak wpiszecie u siebie w pasku ten adres http://www.geocities.com/mach2mach1/lotnisko.jpg
(jak klikniecie to, to wam wyjdzie że nie ma takiej strony, nie wiem dlaczego):
i teraz juz powinno sie zdjęcie pokazać (mam nadzieję)
-
Combat
-
Combat
teraz już mam nadzieję że na pewno link działa (podeszłam innym spopsobem 
http://www.geocities.com/mach2mach1/lotnisko.htm
http://www.geocities.com/mach2mach1/lotnisko.htm
-
Combat
o ludzie... załamac się można.
No dobra, skoro nie można przekazać tego zdjęcia wizualnie, to go opiszę słowami, niestety innego wyjścia nie ma.
Otóż jest to zdjęcie z jakiegoś lotniska w Polsce (no podobno prawdziwe, ale nie wiem...) i przedstawia tabliczkę stojącą gdzieś tam na trawce, a na tabliczce napis:
No dobra, skoro nie można przekazać tego zdjęcia wizualnie, to go opiszę słowami, niestety innego wyjścia nie ma.
Otóż jest to zdjęcie z jakiegoś lotniska w Polsce (no podobno prawdziwe, ale nie wiem...) i przedstawia tabliczkę stojącą gdzieś tam na trawce, a na tabliczce napis:
A w ogóle to przepraszam w takim razie za ten bałagan z niedziałającymi linkami, to ja może wykasuję te niepotrzebne posty, co?TEREN LOTNISKA
WSTĘP WZBRONIONY
Czy wiesz że...
Pilot startującego samolotu ma bardzo ograniczoną widoczność do przodu.
Może Cię przelecieć i nawet tego nie zauważy...
-
Combat
-
Wilq
proszę być wyrozumiałym-jest tam dość sporo literówek, ale ja to tylko przekopiowałem-to te dwie osoby, które rozmawiały są winne 
.
I jeszcze jedno- "[GTF]Muffin Man" proszę traktować tak samo jak "{MuffinMan}", czyli są to wypowiedzi tej samej osoby.
A-żebyście makówek nie musieli wysilać - jak Snookie mówi "u", to ma na myśli "you"-to amerykański skrót, tak jak polskie "cze". I dla tych bardzoej kiepskich z angielskiego- na onecie jest darmowy słownik, jeśli ktoś miał by kłopoty-przydatna sprawa . Miłej lektury, to jest po prostu debeściaskie
PS-nie uczcie się gramatyki ani słownictwa od Snookie, mimo, że to rodowita Amerykanka..........
{SnOOkiE} Frank zAppa?
{MuffinMan} Excuse me?
{SnOOkiE} The song bi frank Zappa
[GTF]Muffin Man Which song is that?
{SnOOkiE} muffin man song. do u like it?
{MuffinMan} I am not sure what you are talking about I'm afraid.
{SnOOkiE} where did u get you're name from thwn??
{MuffinMan} I used to run a muffin shop, so I called Myself the MuffinMan.
Who is Frank Zappa?
{SnOOkiE} U dint now who he is??? he is 1 of the bestest singeres in the
world. He made many great songs.
{MuffinMan} Is he American? I don't know many American singers. I do know
Frank Sinatra though.
{SnOOkiE} why dont you know American singers???
{SnOOkiE} who is frank sinatera???
{SnOOkiE} are u still there???
{MuffinMan} Sorry, I was writing an e-mail. Frank Sinatra was one of the
greatest American crooners ever. He sold millions of records around the
world. His most famous songs are My Way and New York, New York.
{SnOOkiE} is he a rock singer? What band is he in???
{MuffinMan} He is dead now.
{SnOOkiE} Ok. So what band is he in??? Is it a fock band like arosmith??? i
like arosmith, do u
{SnOOkiE} are u still there??
{MuffinMan} He was in a Rock Band called "The *** Americans". You can
probably find their records in your local record shop. They made many GREAT
records about Americans. Their best song was called "Why is my IQ so small?"
Another great song was called, "My spelling is shit." Yes I am still here,
just a longer sentance to type.
{SnOOkiE} i dont think i wood like this band. it is a stupid name fro a
band.
{MuffinMan} Yes it is, but they were writing social commentary, so the songs
MEANT something!!
{SnOOkiE} wot is soceal commentery?
{MuffinMan} It doesn't matter. You are right. You probably wouldn't like the
music. Can I ask you some questions?
{SnOOkiE} Ok, like wot?
{MuffinMan} Are you male or female?
{SnOOkiE} femail. and u?
{MuffinMan} Your name is nice. Where did you get it from?
{SnOOkiE} my mom used to call me it when i was young!
{MuffinMan} Why?
{SnOOkiE} because i used to snook around. so she caled me snookie
{MuffinMan} I understand. That makes sense How old are you?
{SnOOkiE} i'am 17. u
{MuffinMan} You are still young Does your mother still call you snookie?
{SnOOkiE} IM NOT YOUNG!!! I AM 17!!! SHE DOSNT CALL ME SNOOKIE ANYMORE!!!!!
{MuffinMan} Sorry.
{SnOOkiE} why are you sorry?
{MuffinMan} Because I said you are young. Because I am older I said you are
young. To me you are still young but I know you are an adult. Where do you
live?
{SnOOkiE} Ok. i live OK
{MuffinMan} What? What is OK?
{SnOOkiE} Ok. oklahama. Dint you know that? r you an ***!!!
{MuffinMan} Please don't call me an ***. Not I am not. I just didn't know
that OK was the abbreviation for Oklahama. Which city do you live in?
{SnOOkiE] tulsa. it is boring!!!!! where do u live?
{MuffinMan} The Czech Republic.
{SnOOkiE} i dont know that. what state is it in???
{MuffinMan} It's not in any state, it is a country in Europe.
{SnOOkiE} like london??
{MuffinMan} Something like that. But it is not close to the country of
London.
{SnOOkiE} where is it then?
[GTF]Muffin Man It's between Russia and Germany.
{SnOOkiE} mi uncle told me aboot russia. he was fiting against them once
time. he said there are commies or something.
{MuffinMan} Your Uncle was fighting against Russia? Wow! He must be very
brave. Which war was this in? WWII?
{SnOOkiE} against the vietnam war against the russians. he siad we lost
because our politicens werre all hamos and they dint help people like him to
kill the gooks.
{MuffinMan} I didn't know that Russia was in the Vietnam war. You must
really know your history! Wow!
{SnOOkiE} yes it was. and vietnam peple as well. hsitory s 1 of my favoirite
subjects. why didnt u know? u are russina.
{SnOOkiE} are u still tjhere???
{MuffinMan} I am not Russian, I am Czech. But we are close to Russia. I knew
that the Russians were helping the Vietnamese with money and weapons, but I
didn't know that they were fighting there. I am very impressed with your
knowledge.
{SnOOkiE} thnx!! history is my bestest subject. my teachers sais that i will
do realy well in my final exams. r u a commie?
{MuffinMan} Actually, it's communist. Yes I am.
{SnOOkiE} mi uncle and my pop says that comminunists are bastads and shold
be bomed with nuclear barns.
{MuffinMan} Then I would be dead. I think that would make me very sad
because I am a nice person. Do you think I am a nice person?
{SnOOkiE} i dont know u very well. but probaby it wood be sad if you were
dead from a born. killing pople is not nice but commies kill people all the
time and they are evil.
{MuffinMan} It's not true. We are very nice people. Just like Americans. Are
you really 17 years old?
{SnOOkiE} YES!!! I AM!!! how old r u?
[GTF]Muffin Man I don't know.
{SnOOkiE} ?? WHY DONT U KNOW??
{MuffinMan} Because in communist countries we don't have birthdays. No one
knows how old they are. I think I am something like 30 in American age.
{SnOOkiE} u dont have birfdays?? that is very sad. i like my b/day. tell me
please what your real name is.
[GTF]Muffin Man I have many names, but my name now is Lenin. Next year I
must change my name again. I don't know what I will change it to yet.
{SnOOkiE} ?? why do u change your name??
{MuffinMan} I'm sorry, I can't tell you. It's a secret.
{SnOOkiE} does everone change there name in russia???
{MuffinMan} No, only people like me. But it's not too bad. It means that I
don't get my ex-wives chasing after me because they can't find out what my
real name is. I like it.
{SnOOkiE} hhow many wifes to you have???
{MuffinMan} So far I have been married 7 times. I am going to get married
again soon, but first I must get rid of Olga, my current wife.
{SnOOkiE} why??? do u not like here?
{MuffinMan} I like her very much, but in this country when a woman starts to
get older she gets VERY fat. I don't like fat women. So I will get a new one
who is not fat. Are you fat?
{SnOOkiE} NO I AM NOT""'! I AM NOTT FAT!!!! I AM GOING TO BE A MODEL!!!!
(GTF]MuffinMan That's nice. I like girls that look like models. Maybe you
can be my next wife.
{SnOOkiE} NO!!! lM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{MuffinMan} Sorry Snookie, I was joking. Really. I know that you can't be my
next wife because you wouldn't like it here.
{SnOOkiE} Ok. as long as u were jocking! why woudlnt i like it there in
russia?? tell me about russin!
{MuffinMan} Ok, but it will be a long sentance. You will have to wait while
I type it, ok?
{SnOOkiE} ok. i will wait.
{MuffinMan} Good, because if you like history, you can tell this to your
teacher at school
{SnOOkiE} ok
{MuffinMan} Firstly, I don't think that you would like it here because we
don't have televisions. Many years ago there was a man named Stalin, and he
became president of Russia and the peoples democracies, countries like mine.
Anyway, he said that TV was a very bad thing and made it against the law for
people to watch it or sell them. Ok, please wait because my screen is full
and I want to type more....
{SnOOkiE} u dont have television? r u jocking?
{SnOOkiE} i have heard of stalin.
{SnOOkiE} r u still there??
{MuffinMan} Anyway, we also don't have cars. This is because the Americans
won't let us buy petrol from places like Texas. And there are no other
countries in the world that can make petrol. In many ways this is good,
because we don't get so fat as we have to walk everywhere. So I think you
wouldn't like it here.
{SnOOkiE} america isnt the only cuntry that makes petrol. my uncle was in
the war of the gulf which was a war about petrol!!!!!!!! america won thw
war!!!!!
{MuffinMan} I'm very impressed! You really do know your history. But did you
know that Kuwait (the country that makes petrol) is now an American state?
This means that Americans own this petrol and they won't sell it to
communists.
{SnOOkiE} of course i knew!!!!!!! thnks. i like hsitory
{SnOOkiE} do u have computers?
[GTFJMuffinMan No, we don't have computers here, except for the government.
{SnOOkiE} if u dont have computores then how r u writing to me??
{MuffinMan} I work for the government.
{SnOOkiE} LIEK A SPY? R U A SPY!!!
{MuffinMan} Snookie, I can't tell you that. If I tell you and you tell
someone else then I will be in trouble.
{SnOOkiE} i wont tell anyone else. tell me please!!!
{MuffinMan} You have to promise me. If I tell you and someone finds out, I
will be shot in the head. I have been shot in the head before and I don't
like it. It hurts!
{SnOOkiE} you havent been SHOT IN THE HEAD!!! If U WERE SHot IN THE HEAD U
WOOD BE DEAD!!!! Dont JOKE me!!!!
{MuffinMan} Snookie, I really have been shot in the head. Promise. But it
missed my brain and how I have a metal plate in my head.
{SnOOkiE} COOL! r u a spy?
{MuffinMan} Yes, I work for the KGB. PLEASE don't tell anybody.
{SnOOkiE} I promise. i wont even tell my uncle, he wood probably be angry
for talking me to an commie anyway. is it cool being a spy? have u killed
many people?
{MuffinMan} It's very nice being a spy. It means that I can eat meat
sometimes. Most people in communist countries can't eat meat, only bread.
{SnOOkiE} cool. did u kill people??
{MuffinMan} I have only killed two people. But it's not nice. I had to kill
my father because he was giving secrets to the Americans.
{SnOOkiE} thats horrible!!!!!!!! i LOVE MY FATHER!!!!
{MuffinMan} Oh my god, someone has come in the room!!
{SnOOkiE} who has cum in the room??
{SnOOkiE} r u still there???
{SnOOkiE} hello??
{SnOOkiE} i will go now. bye bye
{MuffinMan} WHO IS ZIS??
{SnOOkiE} u r back. where did u go?
{MuffinMan} WHO ARE YOU? WHO IS ZIS?
{SnOOkiE} who r u?? where is the person from before??
{MuffinMan} HE IS GONE. WE WILL QUESTION HIM. WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?
{SnOOkiE} i have to GO!!!!!!!!
{MuffinMan} WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? WHERE ARE YOU FROM? ARE YOU A SPY AS WELL?
{SnOOkiE} NO!!!!!!! im NOT a SPY!!!! i must go!!!!
{MuffinMan} WE WILL FIND YOU! TELL US!
{SnOOkiE} u WONT FIND mE!!! im going
{MuffinMan} YOU ARE AMERICAN FROM ZE STATE OF OKLAHOMA.
{SnOOkiE} how do u knwo?? NO IM NOT!!!!
{MuffinMan} WE HAZ VERY BEST TECHNOLOGY AND NOW I KNOW YOU ARE FROM TULSA.
WE MUST SPEAK TO YOU!
{SnOOkiE} GO AWAY!!!!! I HAve NOT DONE ANYTNG!!!! I AM tURNIGN MT COMPUTER
OFF!!!!!!!!!
.I jeszcze jedno- "[GTF]Muffin Man" proszę traktować tak samo jak "{MuffinMan}", czyli są to wypowiedzi tej samej osoby.
A-żebyście makówek nie musieli wysilać
- jak Snookie mówi "u", to ma na myśli "you"-to amerykański skrót, tak jak polskie "cze". I dla tych bardzoej kiepskich z angielskiego- na onecie jest darmowy słownik, jeśli ktoś miał by kłopoty-przydatna sprawa . Miłej lektury, to jest po prostu debeściaskie PS-nie uczcie się gramatyki ani słownictwa od Snookie, mimo, że to rodowita Amerykanka..........
{SnOOkiE} Frank zAppa?
{MuffinMan} Excuse me?
{SnOOkiE} The song bi frank Zappa
[GTF]Muffin Man Which song is that?
{SnOOkiE} muffin man song. do u like it?
{MuffinMan} I am not sure what you are talking about I'm afraid.
{SnOOkiE} where did u get you're name from thwn??
{MuffinMan} I used to run a muffin shop, so I called Myself the MuffinMan.
Who is Frank Zappa?
{SnOOkiE} U dint now who he is??? he is 1 of the bestest singeres in the
world. He made many great songs.
{MuffinMan} Is he American? I don't know many American singers. I do know
Frank Sinatra though.
{SnOOkiE} why dont you know American singers???
{SnOOkiE} who is frank sinatera???
{SnOOkiE} are u still there???
{MuffinMan} Sorry, I was writing an e-mail. Frank Sinatra was one of the
greatest American crooners ever. He sold millions of records around the
world. His most famous songs are My Way and New York, New York.
{SnOOkiE} is he a rock singer? What band is he in???
{MuffinMan} He is dead now.
{SnOOkiE} Ok. So what band is he in??? Is it a fock band like arosmith??? i
like arosmith, do u
{SnOOkiE} are u still there??
{MuffinMan} He was in a Rock Band called "The *** Americans". You can
probably find their records in your local record shop. They made many GREAT
records about Americans. Their best song was called "Why is my IQ so small?"
Another great song was called, "My spelling is shit." Yes I am still here,
just a longer sentance to type.
{SnOOkiE} i dont think i wood like this band. it is a stupid name fro a
band.
{MuffinMan} Yes it is, but they were writing social commentary, so the songs
MEANT something!!
{SnOOkiE} wot is soceal commentery?
{MuffinMan} It doesn't matter. You are right. You probably wouldn't like the
music. Can I ask you some questions?
{SnOOkiE} Ok, like wot?
{MuffinMan} Are you male or female?
{SnOOkiE} femail. and u?
{MuffinMan} Your name is nice. Where did you get it from?
{SnOOkiE} my mom used to call me it when i was young!
{MuffinMan} Why?
{SnOOkiE} because i used to snook around. so she caled me snookie
{MuffinMan} I understand. That makes sense How old are you?
{SnOOkiE} i'am 17. u
{MuffinMan} You are still young Does your mother still call you snookie?
{SnOOkiE} IM NOT YOUNG!!! I AM 17!!! SHE DOSNT CALL ME SNOOKIE ANYMORE!!!!!
{MuffinMan} Sorry.
{SnOOkiE} why are you sorry?
{MuffinMan} Because I said you are young. Because I am older I said you are
young. To me you are still young but I know you are an adult. Where do you
live?
{SnOOkiE} Ok. i live OK
{MuffinMan} What? What is OK?
{SnOOkiE} Ok. oklahama. Dint you know that? r you an ***!!!
{MuffinMan} Please don't call me an ***. Not I am not. I just didn't know
that OK was the abbreviation for Oklahama. Which city do you live in?
{SnOOkiE] tulsa. it is boring!!!!! where do u live?
{MuffinMan} The Czech Republic.
{SnOOkiE} i dont know that. what state is it in???
{MuffinMan} It's not in any state, it is a country in Europe.
{SnOOkiE} like london??
{MuffinMan} Something like that. But it is not close to the country of
London.
{SnOOkiE} where is it then?
[GTF]Muffin Man It's between Russia and Germany.
{SnOOkiE} mi uncle told me aboot russia. he was fiting against them once
time. he said there are commies or something.
{MuffinMan} Your Uncle was fighting against Russia? Wow! He must be very
brave. Which war was this in? WWII?
{SnOOkiE} against the vietnam war against the russians. he siad we lost
because our politicens werre all hamos and they dint help people like him to
kill the gooks.
{MuffinMan} I didn't know that Russia was in the Vietnam war. You must
really know your history! Wow!
{SnOOkiE} yes it was. and vietnam peple as well. hsitory s 1 of my favoirite
subjects. why didnt u know? u are russina.
{SnOOkiE} are u still tjhere???
{MuffinMan} I am not Russian, I am Czech. But we are close to Russia. I knew
that the Russians were helping the Vietnamese with money and weapons, but I
didn't know that they were fighting there. I am very impressed with your
knowledge.
{SnOOkiE} thnx!! history is my bestest subject. my teachers sais that i will
do realy well in my final exams. r u a commie?
{MuffinMan} Actually, it's communist. Yes I am.
{SnOOkiE} mi uncle and my pop says that comminunists are bastads and shold
be bomed with nuclear barns.
{MuffinMan} Then I would be dead. I think that would make me very sad
because I am a nice person. Do you think I am a nice person?
{SnOOkiE} i dont know u very well. but probaby it wood be sad if you were
dead from a born. killing pople is not nice but commies kill people all the
time and they are evil.
{MuffinMan} It's not true. We are very nice people. Just like Americans. Are
you really 17 years old?
{SnOOkiE} YES!!! I AM!!! how old r u?
[GTF]Muffin Man I don't know.
{SnOOkiE} ?? WHY DONT U KNOW??
{MuffinMan} Because in communist countries we don't have birthdays. No one
knows how old they are. I think I am something like 30 in American age.
{SnOOkiE} u dont have birfdays?? that is very sad. i like my b/day. tell me
please what your real name is.
[GTF]Muffin Man I have many names, but my name now is Lenin. Next year I
must change my name again. I don't know what I will change it to yet.
{SnOOkiE} ?? why do u change your name??
{MuffinMan} I'm sorry, I can't tell you. It's a secret.
{SnOOkiE} does everone change there name in russia???
{MuffinMan} No, only people like me. But it's not too bad. It means that I
don't get my ex-wives chasing after me because they can't find out what my
real name is. I like it.
{SnOOkiE} hhow many wifes to you have???
{MuffinMan} So far I have been married 7 times. I am going to get married
again soon, but first I must get rid of Olga, my current wife.
{SnOOkiE} why??? do u not like here?
{MuffinMan} I like her very much, but in this country when a woman starts to
get older she gets VERY fat. I don't like fat women. So I will get a new one
who is not fat. Are you fat?
{SnOOkiE} NO I AM NOT""'! I AM NOTT FAT!!!! I AM GOING TO BE A MODEL!!!!
(GTF]MuffinMan That's nice. I like girls that look like models. Maybe you
can be my next wife.
{SnOOkiE} NO!!! lM NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
{MuffinMan} Sorry Snookie, I was joking. Really. I know that you can't be my
next wife because you wouldn't like it here.
{SnOOkiE} Ok. as long as u were jocking! why woudlnt i like it there in
russia?? tell me about russin!
{MuffinMan} Ok, but it will be a long sentance. You will have to wait while
I type it, ok?
{SnOOkiE} ok. i will wait.
{MuffinMan} Good, because if you like history, you can tell this to your
teacher at school
{SnOOkiE} ok
{MuffinMan} Firstly, I don't think that you would like it here because we
don't have televisions. Many years ago there was a man named Stalin, and he
became president of Russia and the peoples democracies, countries like mine.
Anyway, he said that TV was a very bad thing and made it against the law for
people to watch it or sell them. Ok, please wait because my screen is full
and I want to type more....
{SnOOkiE} u dont have television? r u jocking?
{SnOOkiE} i have heard of stalin.
{SnOOkiE} r u still there??
{MuffinMan} Anyway, we also don't have cars. This is because the Americans
won't let us buy petrol from places like Texas. And there are no other
countries in the world that can make petrol. In many ways this is good,
because we don't get so fat as we have to walk everywhere. So I think you
wouldn't like it here.
{SnOOkiE} america isnt the only cuntry that makes petrol. my uncle was in
the war of the gulf which was a war about petrol!!!!!!!! america won thw
war!!!!!
{MuffinMan} I'm very impressed! You really do know your history. But did you
know that Kuwait (the country that makes petrol) is now an American state?
This means that Americans own this petrol and they won't sell it to
communists.
{SnOOkiE} of course i knew!!!!!!! thnks. i like hsitory
{SnOOkiE} do u have computers?
[GTFJMuffinMan No, we don't have computers here, except for the government.
{SnOOkiE} if u dont have computores then how r u writing to me??
{MuffinMan} I work for the government.
{SnOOkiE} LIEK A SPY? R U A SPY!!!
{MuffinMan} Snookie, I can't tell you that. If I tell you and you tell
someone else then I will be in trouble.
{SnOOkiE} i wont tell anyone else. tell me please!!!
{MuffinMan} You have to promise me. If I tell you and someone finds out, I
will be shot in the head. I have been shot in the head before and I don't
like it. It hurts!
{SnOOkiE} you havent been SHOT IN THE HEAD!!! If U WERE SHot IN THE HEAD U
WOOD BE DEAD!!!! Dont JOKE me!!!!
{MuffinMan} Snookie, I really have been shot in the head. Promise. But it
missed my brain and how I have a metal plate in my head.
{SnOOkiE} COOL! r u a spy?
{MuffinMan} Yes, I work for the KGB. PLEASE don't tell anybody.
{SnOOkiE} I promise. i wont even tell my uncle, he wood probably be angry
for talking me to an commie anyway. is it cool being a spy? have u killed
many people?
{MuffinMan} It's very nice being a spy. It means that I can eat meat
sometimes. Most people in communist countries can't eat meat, only bread.
{SnOOkiE} cool. did u kill people??
{MuffinMan} I have only killed two people. But it's not nice. I had to kill
my father because he was giving secrets to the Americans.
{SnOOkiE} thats horrible!!!!!!!! i LOVE MY FATHER!!!!
{MuffinMan} Oh my god, someone has come in the room!!
{SnOOkiE} who has cum in the room??
{SnOOkiE} r u still there???
{SnOOkiE} hello??
{SnOOkiE} i will go now. bye bye
{MuffinMan} WHO IS ZIS??
{SnOOkiE} u r back. where did u go?
{MuffinMan} WHO ARE YOU? WHO IS ZIS?
{SnOOkiE} who r u?? where is the person from before??
{MuffinMan} HE IS GONE. WE WILL QUESTION HIM. WHAT DID HE TELL YOU?
{SnOOkiE} i have to GO!!!!!!!!
{MuffinMan} WHAT DID HE TELL YOU? WHERE ARE YOU FROM? ARE YOU A SPY AS WELL?
{SnOOkiE} NO!!!!!!! im NOT a SPY!!!! i must go!!!!
{MuffinMan} WE WILL FIND YOU! TELL US!
{SnOOkiE} u WONT FIND mE!!! im going
{MuffinMan} YOU ARE AMERICAN FROM ZE STATE OF OKLAHOMA.
{SnOOkiE} how do u knwo?? NO IM NOT!!!!
{MuffinMan} WE HAZ VERY BEST TECHNOLOGY AND NOW I KNOW YOU ARE FROM TULSA.
WE MUST SPEAK TO YOU!
{SnOOkiE} GO AWAY!!!!! I HAve NOT DONE ANYTNG!!!! I AM tURNIGN MT COMPUTER
OFF!!!!!!!!!
-
Combat
ostatnio znalazłam pare fajnych rzeczy, wiec może coś tu zamieszczę...
Młode małżeństwo planowało wybrać się na letnie wczasy nad morze. Postanowili, że najpierw pojedzie on, aby wybrać hotel i rozejrzeć się, co warto odwiedzić, po czym miał przekazać wiadomość e-maile'm.
Zrobił tak, lecz pomylił jedną literę w adresie, przez co wiadomość trafiła do pewnej starszej pani, która właśnie dzień wcześniej pochowała męża.
Pani ta, sprawdzając wiadomości, nagle wydała głośny histeryczny krzyk.
Domownicy zaalarmowani hałasem pobiegli sprawdzić, co się stało. Zobaczyli staruszkę omdlałą na podłodze.
Ktoś odczytał wiadomość z ekranu:
- Kochanie, wczoraj dotarłem na miejsce. Wszystko już tu przygotowałem na Twoje przybycie jutro.
Twój kochający mąż.
PS: Strasznie tu gorąco!
10 przykazań klawiatury
Jam jest klawiatura twoja, która pisanie maili ci umożliwia:
Nie będziesz klawiatur innych używał.
Nie będziesz w klawiaturę walił nadaremno.
Pamiętaj, abyś w weekend dużo maili napisał.
Czcij klawiaturę swoją i kompa swego.
Nie niszcz.
Nie krusz.
Nie zalewaj.
Nie pisz na mnie fałszywego świadectwa przeciw bliźniemu swemu.
Nie pożądaj hardware’u bliźniego swego.
Ani żadnego softu, który jego jest.
ENTER
i na deser:
Systemy vs linie lotnicze
Line Lotnicze AMIGA
Terminal lotniskowy jest ładny i kolorowy, z przyjacielskimi i miłymi stewardesami, z łatwym dostępem do samolotów i bezproblemowym startem. Niestety w samolotach silniki przypominają czasy kaminia łupanego. Szyby są brudne, a o posiłkach w trakcie lotu wogóle nie słyszano. Dla bardziej wymagających podróżników : mogą oni podróżować na wielu samolotach i odwiedzić wiele miejsc w tym samym czasie. Podczas tych wielokrotnych podroży pasażer może skorzystać z lotów na liniach MAC-a, DOS-a, UNIX-a, czy tez WINDOWSów.
Linie Lotnicze DOS
Sytuacja wygląda tak: Wszyscy pchają samolot, aż ten wzbije się w powietrze i zacznie szybować Następnie wskakują do niego i przez moment szybują wraz z nim dopóty ten nie uderzy w ziemie. Potem od początku pchają i szybują itd...
Linie Lotnicze DOS z QEMM
Sytuacja jak wyżej, z tym że z większą ilością miejsca na nogi.
Linie Lotnicze MAC
Wszyscy na lotnisku, a wiec stewardesy, kapitanowie samolotów, bagażowi i urzędnicy wyglądają tak samo, zachowują się tak samo i mówią w ten sam sposób. Zawsze, gdy o coś zapytasz, otrzymujesz odpowiedź, że nie musisz tego wiedzieć, nie chcesz tego wiedzieć i że wszystko będzie zrobione bez twojej wiedzy - więc zamknij się.
Linie Lotnicze OS/2
Aby dostać się na pokład samolotu musisz podstemplować bilet 10 razy w dziesięciu rożnych okienkach. Następnie musisz wypełnić ankietę, w której wyjaśnisz gdzie chcesz siedzieć i czy powinno to wyglądać jak na statku pasażerskim, w pociągu osobowym, czy tez w autobusie. Jeżeli powiedzie Ci się, dostaniesz się na pokład i samolot szczęśliwie wystartuje... będziesz mięć wspaniałą podroż ... z wyjątkiem sytuacji, w których zamarznie ster i klapy w pozycji, w której będziesz miął czas tylko na odmówienie modlitwy zanim samolot zderzy się z ziemia.
Linie Lotnicze WINDOWS
Lotniskowy terminal jest ładny i kolorowy, z miłymi i pomocnymi stewardesami, z łatwym dostępem do samolotu oraz bezproblemowym startem... potem samolot wybucha bez żadnego ostrzeżenia...
Linie Lotnicze NT
Sytuacja wygląda tak: wszyscy wychodzą na pas startowy, po drodze podają hasło i kreślą zbliżony kształt samolotu. Następnie siadają i robią hałas jakby właśnie nim lecieli.
Linie Lotnicze LINUX
Każdy przynosi jedną cześć samolotu ze sobą na lotnisko. Potem wszyscy wynoszą to na pas startowy i składają do kupy kłócąc się ciągle o rodzaj samolotu, który budują.
Młode małżeństwo planowało wybrać się na letnie wczasy nad morze. Postanowili, że najpierw pojedzie on, aby wybrać hotel i rozejrzeć się, co warto odwiedzić, po czym miał przekazać wiadomość e-maile'm.
Zrobił tak, lecz pomylił jedną literę w adresie, przez co wiadomość trafiła do pewnej starszej pani, która właśnie dzień wcześniej pochowała męża.
Pani ta, sprawdzając wiadomości, nagle wydała głośny histeryczny krzyk.
Domownicy zaalarmowani hałasem pobiegli sprawdzić, co się stało. Zobaczyli staruszkę omdlałą na podłodze.
Ktoś odczytał wiadomość z ekranu:
- Kochanie, wczoraj dotarłem na miejsce. Wszystko już tu przygotowałem na Twoje przybycie jutro.
Twój kochający mąż.
PS: Strasznie tu gorąco!
10 przykazań klawiatury
Jam jest klawiatura twoja, która pisanie maili ci umożliwia:
Nie będziesz klawiatur innych używał.
Nie będziesz w klawiaturę walił nadaremno.
Pamiętaj, abyś w weekend dużo maili napisał.
Czcij klawiaturę swoją i kompa swego.
Nie niszcz.
Nie krusz.
Nie zalewaj.
Nie pisz na mnie fałszywego świadectwa przeciw bliźniemu swemu.
Nie pożądaj hardware’u bliźniego swego.
Ani żadnego softu, który jego jest.
ENTER
i na deser:
Systemy vs linie lotnicze
Line Lotnicze AMIGA
Terminal lotniskowy jest ładny i kolorowy, z przyjacielskimi i miłymi stewardesami, z łatwym dostępem do samolotów i bezproblemowym startem. Niestety w samolotach silniki przypominają czasy kaminia łupanego. Szyby są brudne, a o posiłkach w trakcie lotu wogóle nie słyszano. Dla bardziej wymagających podróżników : mogą oni podróżować na wielu samolotach i odwiedzić wiele miejsc w tym samym czasie. Podczas tych wielokrotnych podroży pasażer może skorzystać z lotów na liniach MAC-a, DOS-a, UNIX-a, czy tez WINDOWSów.
Linie Lotnicze DOS
Sytuacja wygląda tak: Wszyscy pchają samolot, aż ten wzbije się w powietrze i zacznie szybować Następnie wskakują do niego i przez moment szybują wraz z nim dopóty ten nie uderzy w ziemie. Potem od początku pchają i szybują itd...
Linie Lotnicze DOS z QEMM
Sytuacja jak wyżej, z tym że z większą ilością miejsca na nogi.
Linie Lotnicze MAC
Wszyscy na lotnisku, a wiec stewardesy, kapitanowie samolotów, bagażowi i urzędnicy wyglądają tak samo, zachowują się tak samo i mówią w ten sam sposób. Zawsze, gdy o coś zapytasz, otrzymujesz odpowiedź, że nie musisz tego wiedzieć, nie chcesz tego wiedzieć i że wszystko będzie zrobione bez twojej wiedzy - więc zamknij się.
Linie Lotnicze OS/2
Aby dostać się na pokład samolotu musisz podstemplować bilet 10 razy w dziesięciu rożnych okienkach. Następnie musisz wypełnić ankietę, w której wyjaśnisz gdzie chcesz siedzieć i czy powinno to wyglądać jak na statku pasażerskim, w pociągu osobowym, czy tez w autobusie. Jeżeli powiedzie Ci się, dostaniesz się na pokład i samolot szczęśliwie wystartuje... będziesz mięć wspaniałą podroż ... z wyjątkiem sytuacji, w których zamarznie ster i klapy w pozycji, w której będziesz miął czas tylko na odmówienie modlitwy zanim samolot zderzy się z ziemia.
Linie Lotnicze WINDOWS
Lotniskowy terminal jest ładny i kolorowy, z miłymi i pomocnymi stewardesami, z łatwym dostępem do samolotu oraz bezproblemowym startem... potem samolot wybucha bez żadnego ostrzeżenia...
Linie Lotnicze NT
Sytuacja wygląda tak: wszyscy wychodzą na pas startowy, po drodze podają hasło i kreślą zbliżony kształt samolotu. Następnie siadają i robią hałas jakby właśnie nim lecieli.
Linie Lotnicze LINUX
Każdy przynosi jedną cześć samolotu ze sobą na lotnisko. Potem wszyscy wynoszą to na pas startowy i składają do kupy kłócąc się ciągle o rodzaj samolotu, który budują.
-
Combat